Getting all wound up into a tighter than ever ball
Wind wind wind, tight tight tight,
Teeth clenching
Wrath seething
Body straining
Heart desert parched dry and empty
Will this ever change?
Unmet expectations
(understatement)
Hopeless
I can't live like this. I can't put up with this.
Well, okay, I can.
"I have learned the secret to contentment in every situation . . . I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Blah Blah Blah
So I can live with this,
But . . .
I DON'T WANT TO!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH - get me out of this!
Then You came and named it:
Despair.
It's seeping in again, settling a bit, growing some ugly roots into my core.
Wrapping it's nasty gnarly fingers around my gut.
Despair - it is NOT from You.
Then . . . we know whom it is from . . . Your enemy. The enemy of my soul.
Do I really want to give him any satisfaction, the enemy of my soul?
Get out!
Look up Julie.
"I lift my eyes up to the mountains.
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD:
Maker of heaven and earth." (Psalm 121:1-2)
Look up Julie.
Look UP.
UP.
He's crying out in a loud voice. He's repeating Himself again. He has to. He's talking to me.
a pastor said once,
"You know how to make a mountain out of a molehill? Get down on level with the molehill and look at it real close . . . just like this, let it fill your entire view."
I'm looking at a molehill. Well, this may be bigger than a molehill. But it's no mountain.
Look UP.
Why?
Because my help comes from You . . . the Maker of heaven and earth. MAKER. CREATOR. SUSTAINER. "OF ALL THAT IS SEEN AND UNSEEN" That is some source of help.
I immediately feel relief. Lighter. Something shifts. Just the words, "Look up" do something, transform something. Ball unwinds ever so slightly . . .
"Our God is bigger, our God is stronger, our God is higher than any other . . ."
Get out Despair!
GET OUT!!!
Come in . . . come in what? I can't just be empty of despair . . . Jesus bring me something.
What is the opposite of despair?
Hope.
Hmm . . . There are movies "Hope Floats" and "Hope Springs" and . . .
What will hope do today?
Bubble
Hope bubbles?
(My inner sarcasm kicks in.)
Only if it's true hope. Is this true hope? Hope can only be true if it is in something or someone True. What or whom is my hope in? You LORD: Maker of heaven and earth. That is true. "I am the Way, and the Truth and the Life." And that's substantial. Someone who can acually do something.
Do something please.
do SOMETHING
Look UP. Gaze at Me. Keep your eyes on Me. I've got this. I've got you. I've got the whole world in My Hands.
bubble bubble bubble
Bubble Bubble Bubble Bubble Bubble . . .
BUBBLE BUBBLE BUBBLE BUBBLE BUBBLE BUBBLE BUBBLE BUBBLE BUBBLE BUBBLE BUBBLE BUBBLE BUBBLE BUBBLE
Hope Bubbles!
Hope BUBBLES!
HOPE BUBBLES!!!!!
And that's when I felt them,
the bubbles.
The tight tight tight wind wind wind
was less.
And the bubbles were . . .
bubbling :-)
